A guide to difficult conversations, building high-trust teams, and designing a life you love

Lockett says repeatedly solving problems for capable teammates can train them to bring every hard decision to the leader. Coaching offers another path: create space for the person to explore the problem. This is a choice of management approach, not a rule to withhold help.

She explicitly says advising can be appropriate for an urgent issue or when someone lacks the necessary skill. Coaching assumes the person has enough context to find a path. Match the approach to the situation rather than treating questions as the answer to everything.

A useful coaching question can open options the person had not considered. Lockett contrasts that curiosity with leading someone toward the answer the manager already wants. The question should help clarify the problem rather than disguise an instruction.

The goal and reality parts of GROW ask what success would look like and what is happening now. Questions about challenges and previous attempts give the conversation a starting point. A solution is more useful when the person has named both the destination and the actual obstacle.

The options part asks about possible paths, while the way-forward part asks what the person will do next. The discussion should create a concrete step rather than only a longer description of the problem. The person retains ownership of choosing and acting.

Lockett describes four kinds of questions, not a compulsory sequence. If the goal is already clear, there is no need to repeat that part mechanically. Spend the time on the area that is genuinely unresolved, such as the obstacle or the available choices.

She distinguishes a manager using coaching from a separate executive-coaching session. A leader remains responsible for outcomes and can share a concern about a proposed conclusion. Ask how the person reached it while being honest about the reaction, rather than hiding disagreement or taking over immediately.