How To Win Friends & Influence Decisions (Julie Zhuo) | Lenny & Friends Summit 2024
Executive Summary
Lenny and Friends Summit 2024 talk in which Julie Zhuo shares a five step process for influencing decisions without a right versus wrong mindset. She opens with a prioritization quiz between an infrastructure rewrite, an onboarding redesign and a new feature, then says the real question is how to shape a strong opinion into a good outcome. Step one is to draw a circle that includes the person you disagree with, so you are both against the problem. Step two is to assume everyone sees some truth, using the parable of the blind men and the elephant. Step three is to act like detectives and ask what would have to be true for each option to win. The description says the talk is about collaborative, data informed choices, and was recorded live in San Francisco on October 24. PARTIAL COVERAGE: the captions cover roughly the first 15 minutes of the 30 minute talk, so steps four and five and the close are not summarized. All claims are the speaker's own and are not independently checked. Nothing here is legal, financial or medical advice.
Key Takeaways
You cannot escape influencing
Julie says even as a founder she has to influence more than ever.
A prioritization quiz
She asks the room to choose between an infrastructure rewrite, an onboarding redesign and a new feature, to show how hard prioritizing is.
Draw the circle wider
She says we get to choose where we draw the circle, around ourselves or around both sides against a shared problem.
Shared goal first
She says start with what we both want, such as a great product customers love and hitting revenue targets.
Everyone sees part of the truth
She uses the blind men and the elephant to say they all see truth but not the whole truth.
Perspectives differ by role
She says designers, salespeople and growth teams each see different truths, and a product leader holds them together.
Be a detective
She says to ask what would have to be true for each option to be the right one.
The Conversation Breakdown
You cannot escape influencing
⏱ Untimed topicJulie says even as a founder she has to influence more than ever.
A prioritization quiz
⏱ Untimed topicShe asks the room to choose between an infrastructure rewrite, an onboarding redesign and a new feature, to show how hard prioritizing is.
Draw the circle wider
⏱ Untimed topicShe says we get to choose where we draw the circle, around ourselves or around both sides against a shared problem.
Shared goal first
⏱ Untimed topicShe says start with what we both want, such as a great product customers love and hitting revenue targets.
Everyone sees part of the truth
⏱ Untimed topicShe uses the blind men and the elephant to say they all see truth but not the whole truth.
Perspectives differ by role
⏱ Untimed topicShe says designers, salespeople and growth teams each see different truths, and a product leader holds them together.
Be a detective
⏱ Untimed topicShe says to ask what would have to be true for each option to be the right one.
Core Frameworks & Ideas
Draw a circle - Julie's step one
Frame it as you and the other person against the problem.
Assume everyone sees truth - Julie's step two
Acknowledge what each person brings before debating.
What would have to be true - Julie's step three
Ask what would convince each side that their option wins.
Actionable Next Steps
- ✓Open your next disagreement by naming the goal you both share.
- ✓Name what each person in the discussion sees better than you.
- ✓Ask, what would have to be true for the other option to win?
- ✓Treat Julie's process as her approach, not a guarantee of outcomes.
Notable Quotes
“we get to choose where we draw the circle”
“they all see truth but they don't see the whole truth”
“what would have to be true for us to believe that we should do feature a”
The One Thing to Remember
Julie Zhuo says you influence decisions best by drawing the circle around you and the person you disagree with, and by assuming everyone sees part of the truth.