Scripts for navigating difficult conversations | Alisa Cohn (executive coach)

Cohn asks leaders to examine what makes the conversation uncomfortable and what they hope it will improve. Avoidance can deny someone useful information about their work. The purpose is a better working relationship or performance, not venting frustration.

She gives clients sample openings but asks them to make the wording their own. Practice turns a vague intention to give feedback into a conversation you can begin. Keep the tone neutral rather than unloading on the other person.

Cohn's writing example names missing structure and conclusions, then points to good examples and possible help. The feedback connects observable work to the expected standard. Before giving it, ask what evidence supports your assessment rather than relying only on an impression.

If the exchange becomes heated, she suggests noticing the changed tone, restating why the discussion matters and checking whether to continue or pause. The conversation still needs to happen. A pause is a tool to listen and reset, not a way to evade the issue.

Her promotion example gives the decision early, explains the reasons and discusses future skill-building. Cohn urges compassion for the person hearing it. A hopeful future should not become a false promise of a later promotion or a softened account of the decision.

She argues that praise should be prepared with the same care as correction. Naming what worked gives people useful information and builds trust. A vague good job does less to help someone repeat the effective behavior.

Cohn ends with what was decided, who does what by when and who else needs to know. Asking people can reveal different understandings of the same meeting. Leave time for this ritual and assign follow-up so the next meeting does not simply repeat the old decisions.