Faf du Plessis on MS Dhoni, Virat Kohli and growing up with AB de Villiers
Executive Summary
Prakhar sits with Faf du Plessis (PGX Raw & Real #223) for a candid tour of a 15-year career at cricket's highest level. On South Africa's World Cup heartbreaks, Faf rejects the 'chokers' mystique: sometimes teams outplayed them, sometimes they lost from winning positions - normal sport - but the narrative 'grows legs and it grows arms and it grows a brain' until it becomes a superpower the opposition uses. He knew that 'once that monkey gets shafted off your back, the ceiling would crack open' - and points to the World Test Championship win and two straight finals as proof, with the 2027 home World Cup as the stars aligning. The margins are brutal: David Miller's catch on the boundary rope in the final against India, Grant Elliott's last-over six in 2015, a dressing room of grown men bawling, and three weeks of heartbreak before the IPL ('life always isn't sunshine and rainbows... time heals everything'). On leadership he describes stealing with his eyes and ears: Graeme Smith's alpha gravitas versus MS Dhoni - who barely spoke in meetings, skipped the homework culture, and whose superpower was reading the game instinctively in the moment. The lesson for any young leader: there is not one way; take Dhoni's calm and instinct, Smith's communication, and mold your own style. Captaining Virat Kohli at RCB worked because of mutual respect earned playing hard against each other - and he describes Kohli's intensity as 'every single ball is at a 10,' in fielding, gym, food, preparation, an infectious standard that hardened the whole Indian team (including the dangerous Wanderers Test where batters were told not to show pain). Growing up with AB de Villiers - same school, same teams from 14 - meant teenage jealousy and rivalry until the acceptance: 'we are on different paths... I just need to focus on my path,' becoming AB's friend and fan while chasing consistency over glamour. His self-assessment is striking: 'I felt like I failed more than I succeeded,' and resilience - getting back up, dealing with a sport he calls one of the most depressed - is what gave him a career and, at 42, longevity across world leagues. His formula for failure: treat it like feedback, learn, and remember 'the sun will come up tomorrow again for another opportunity.'
Key Takeaways
Narratives become superpowers
South Africa's 'chokers' tag: normal sporting losses grew legs, arms and a brain until opponents weaponized them. Faf's counter: win once and the ceiling cracks - the WTC triumph and two straight finals are the evidence.
Steal with your eyes and ears
He learned captaincy by sitting next to Stephen Fleming asking questions and watching Dhoni and Graeme Smith: two opposite models (alpha gravitas vs silent instinct) that proved there is no one way to lead.
Intensity is a standard, not a mood
Kohli's 'every ball at a 10' - fielding, gym, diet, prep - hardened an entire team. Leadership by action: the Wanderers Test message was don't show pain, and the standard became infectious.
Turn rivalry into acceptance
Growing up with AB de Villiers meant jealousy until he saw wishing failure had zero impact on AB and only hurt his own game. Different paths: AB the glamour, Faf the consistent rock.
Resilience outranks talent
'I felt like I failed more than I succeeded.' In a sport full of failure, the ability to get back up - not skill - is what he credits for his career and his longevity at 42.
Failure is feedback
Young Faf couldn't switch off (lying awake about facing Jadeja); older Faf treats bad days like good ones - what can I learn, then tomorrow is another opportunity. Same lens for both.
Longevity is a switch
At 42 he still treats league cricket like internationals: a high-performance switch inside that won't let him leave talent unsqueezed. Drive plus standards, sustained, becomes the thing people admire most.
The Conversation Breakdown
The chokers narrative
⏱ Untimed topicWorld Cup heartbreaks, the boundary-rope margins, the 2015 dressing room in tears, and why shedding the monkey cracks the ceiling open.
Two leadership schools
⏱ Untimed topicGraeme Smith's alpha gravitas versus Dhoni's instinctive calm - no meetings, no homework, just reading the game - and molding your own style from both.
Captaining Kohli
⏱ Untimed topicEarning Virat's respect as opponents first, RCB as a career highlight, what 'every ball at a 10' feels like, and the Wanderers Test story of Indian hardness.
Growing up with AB
⏱ Untimed topicSame school, same hostel, teenage jealousy and rivalry, the moment negative wishing proved useless, and choosing consistency and friendship over comparison.
Resilience and failure
⏱ Untimed topic'I failed more than I succeeded,' cricket as a depressed sport, burnout and switching off, and the flat-line lens of learning from every day.
WCL and playing at 42
⏱ Untimed topicWhy he finally joined the legends league, its rising standard, and the switch that keeps him treating every game like international cricket at 42.
Margins and heartbreak
⏱ Untimed topicThe Miller boundary catch, the rope that wasn't where it should be, Grant Elliott's six, and three weeks of heartbreak - sport's beauty is that money can't buy the trophy.
Core Frameworks & Ideas
The narrative flywheel
A repeated storyline (choking) gains legs, arms and a brain until it changes opponent behavior. Breaking it requires one decisive win - after which confidence compounds into multiple titles.
The leadership mosaic
Study multiple great leaders, extract the traits that fit your personality (Dhoni's calm, Smith's communication), and mold a personal style instead of copying one model.
The zero-impact rule
Energy spent wishing a rival fails has zero impact on them and only degrades your own performance - redirect it to your own path and become a fan instead.
The flat-line lens
Good day or bad day, ask the same question - what can I learn? - then trust tomorrow brings another opportunity. Treating failure and success identically protects the mind.
Actionable Next Steps
- ✓Name one narrative about you or your team that has 'grown legs' - and plan the single decisive win that breaks it.
- ✓Pick two leaders you admire with opposite styles and write the one trait from each you will deliberately copy.
- ✓Catch yourself wishing a competitor would fail; redirect that thought into one concrete improvement on your own path.
- ✓After your next bad day, write one lesson before bed instead of replaying the failure.
- ✓Build one switch-off ritual so your work stops occupying your mind after hours.
Notable Quotes
“Life always isn't sunshine and rainbows.”
“once that monkey gets shafted off your back, the ceiling would crack open”
“I felt like I failed more than I succeeded”
“sun will come up tomorrow again for another opportunity”
The One Thing to Remember
Treat failure and success through the same lens - ask what you can learn from each day, and trust that the sun comes up tomorrow with another opportunity.